[i used to think]

i used to think poetry was about words.

i used to think if you had enough lines and syllables, if you knew what enjambment was, if your couplets were trite enough- you could make a poem.

i also used to think if i brushed my teeth real good one time i'd never have to brush them again.

but daddy says koolaid can't fight plaque or cavities and a poem isn't a beginning or an end but the space between characters.

i thought a poem couldn't just come right out and say it. it had to be a metaphorical minotaur only theseus could slay. 'blunt' was just something the skater kids smoked after school.

i used to think poetry had to be smooth and planned and perfect. everything i'm not and will never be.

when i was little i thought that arlington was a national resthome for has-been macgyvers and bonds and i thought all grown-ups were heros.

i thought one day i'd suddenly be a grown-up and know how to do my taxes and build a house and know that everything was ok.

i don't think i know what a grownup is, but what matters is that i'm ok.

i thought the poem was over when you finished 4 stanzas. that the movie always ended at 90 minutes and the poet likewise worked on a meter.

i used to think i had all the time in the world but high school slipped through my fingers while i was fumbling with zippers and laughing at how bad that sounds.

i used to think a poem had to have a point, a subject, something concrete to focus on, a center pedestal. it had to have precise grammar and nice language.

but that's all bullshit and a poem just is.